Some of my clients struggle to finalise their keepsake books. Years may pass, the funeral now a painful memory and it is too difficult for them to go through it again. And so the books don’t get published and my images become a repository of hard to deal with emotions; they give comfort by ensuring the funeral isn’t forgotten. However, their underlying grief is still there, in abeyance, not able to be diminished by being able to browse a keepsake book of the funeral. 

I’m trying a new approach with my keepsake books. I photographed a funeral six weeks ago and decided to publish a proof book without waiting for the client to see or even sign off on its design. Two weeks ago, when the book was ready, I invited the three adult children to consider the book of their mother’s funeral as nothing more than a prototype. By not making it final but by making the keepsake book real, I’m hoping that the final keepsake book will be easier for my clients to accept.

The meeting with my clients was a success. Tears were quietly shared as they absorbed the book. It was important that they observed the book together as I strongly believe that grief should never be borne alone but shared with loved ones. 

Now two weeks have passed since they saw the book (which they kept) and soon I’ll give them a nudge to see how the book can be progressed. When? I’m not sure. I’m in a world where there are no fixed rules only guiding emotions and kindness.